JOKES ABOUT DUMB BLONDS

We've left out the x-rated ones
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?
A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who almost caused a car wreck?
A: The spare tire in her trunk blew out.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde whose boyfriend said he loved her?
A: She believed him.

Q: Did you hear about the new epidemic among blondes?
A: It's called MAIDS - if they don't get one, they die.

Q: Did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes?
A: They take off their makeup.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.

Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's whiteout on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the whiteout.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?
A: When she farts, her knees bag.

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for French fries.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.

Q: How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: How did the blonde get ready for Y2K?
A: She changed all her y's to k's.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do you know if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a check book.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: How do you make blondes laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night !

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
A You shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: How does a blonde spell farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!

Q: How does a blonde "high-5"?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

Q: How does the blonde car pool work?
A: They all meet at work at 7:45.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: Two: one to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.

Q: If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft, which hits the ground first?
A: The brunette, because the blonde has to ask directions on the way down.

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third grade.

Q: What can save a dying blonde?
A: Hair transplants.

Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor to